Dear —,

i am growing in unexpected ways
and despite what the voices repeat in my ear
it feels like approaching a dead end.

the moon is there for reassurance
but i don’t see him most nights,
hiding. busy

i occupy myself despite best interests
i take up more space than i used to
and i feel…

Glad to be back in Davao


I have loneliness written
for the past, and they stand
like weeping caryatids
ten feet from the ground

And I have loneliness written
for the coming pains
as I watch gray clouds
come closer every hour

It is what steers the helm
and it is the sea beneath,
The hands on the waist in
a despondent drunken haze

I am a lonely man
drinking my shame as red as wine
waiting for one thing
to go right

You had me from the very first day
When you took my heart with a smile
And spun my world around the axis
That was made by the light of your eyes

You are spring, bursting with colors,
Full with life and harmony and grace
I am winter, wrapped with coldness,
Too pale and frozen, longing for warmth

Yet every time you lay your eyes
Upon my dull and lifeless ones,
I can feel my insides endlessly melting
Pouring myself completely to you

But then even if I surrender
Every part of me, I still falter
Because your hands are already holding
Somebody’s hands whose love is consuming

She is summer, exploding with radiance
You are spring, screaming with delight
Nothing could be more beautiful
Your bonding is just meant to be

After all, I am nothing but winter
Let me just cry through the snow
As you dance along with her rays
Don’t worry, I will leave soon

n.a., A tragedy in seasons (via drizzlelullaby)

Enter my mind. Step and see how shallow it seems with all the clutter around. Take another step and sink in to my depths, swallowed by my darkest thoughts, tormented by memories and troubled with regrets. Hear the thrashing cacophonies of all questions left unanswered and secrets left sealed that await to be unleashed. Hear all the what ifs, get teared down by the if onlys. Step into my mind but be warned that you’d be choked.

Do something that your future self will thank you.

He was the sun in all of its shining glory, crowned and everything revolves around him.

I was the moon, a part of me remains hidden and my face is marked by cratered flaws.

And somehow, our worlds do not collide.

imagine walking into class late one day and your blog is up on the projector 


I thought you had me like a spider trapped its pray or how a hunter caught his game. But no, you had me like air at the palm of your hands and water trickling your fingers.

You had me. You lost me.

Here’s to unspoken goodbyes and open doors now locked shut. Here’s to all the possibilities of what could have been but now is just a mirage in the desert of deceit.

I’m sorry I am not what you wanted me to be, but I refuse to change for someone like you.

Some people simply know the words that breach the walls to my inner being.

I wish you wouldn’t complicate things to the extent that my world revolves around you. I am sick of it.

I think it takes a little death just to know you’re alive.
A little sadness to know you’re happy.
A little fear to know you’re safe.
A little hurt to know you’re loved.